I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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