My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
