the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
