So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
