Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
