New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
