i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I AM VODKA MAN
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar