Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick