she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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