oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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