are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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