Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
