Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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