the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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