I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
