Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize