Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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