what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
