Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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