She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
