Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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