i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
