I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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