my mouth tastes like poor choices
i barfeds in our rink
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
