just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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