I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I look better un-naked...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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