Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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