yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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