And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
