So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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