38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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