i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
