You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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