So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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