Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
