White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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