you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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