someone get that fucking seahorse.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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