So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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