she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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