thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
