well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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