Kiss
Puke
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
