They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
