All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
