the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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