ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
