How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize