What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
