"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
