margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
