The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
