I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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