On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
