i think my mom watched the whole time
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
