8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
