Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
