Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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