Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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