Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
