i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
