I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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