He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
