the condom got lost in my hair
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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