I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
