Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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